A Satirical Poem About Marrying A Tree

Jul 6, 2015

The Tree and I
Why I Want to Marry a Ficus

a satirical poem by
Anita L. Staver, Esq.

Oh how I love my ficus tree
It’s one with whom I long to be
I rub its bark and shine its green
It’s calm and never makes a scene

We’re quite content and never shout
When I stay out late it doesn’t pout
Or tell me how to spend my money
It leans toward me and I call it “honey”

It fills a special place in my heart
I promise that we will never part
I can even quote a Bible verse
Of the fig tree that Jonah loved first

Now there’s a judge on the west coast
I know he’ll give what I want most
To marry my precious ficus tree
Me, a ficus and baby makes three

This may never become a trend
So I may tire of my woody friend
And if I decide to give up my Mister
The judge would then let me marry my sister!

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